I'm trying to be a gentleman...I truly am. But ladies, sometimes you make it hard for a brotha. My desire is to view you all in a light of dignity and natural beauty, but I'm afraid it's becoming harder each day. Because, with the introduction of every Real Housewives of Who Cares, Snooki Scandal, Keeping up with the Kardashians, or Bachelorette series, my ability to embrace my inner pro-estrogen fades a bit more. The image of women striking it rich off of their connection to a rich man, or of women "cat fighting" with each other over "some man", has flooded the media waves and drowned out any attempts to portray women in the positive light that I respect. And as a consequence, this image is trickling down to our young ladies as desirable behavior. As a school teacher, I am confronted with the rapidly changing culture of today's youth. They remain the most creative, optimistic, and impressionable segment of our society. With that said, it is through them that both the positive and negative influences of media is reflected.Now, before you start goin all Susan B. Anthony on me, let me make this point, "It's not entirely your fault". From day one, men have been portraying you as an image of their own success. You are held up as a trophy and object to be seen and touched, but never heard. Also, it should be noted that the majority of commercials, music videos, and even sports outfits are designed by men; which gives you an idea of whos' interest they have in mind. AND after the continued bombardment of this image, it would be inconsiderate to assume that women wouldn't eventually "buy in" to what is constantly put in their faces. However, what I am asking my opposite gender equals to do is be bigger than the system.
Yes ladies, it is time to rise against the machine. In a day and age where elected male officials can actually publicly speak of "legitimate rape", I feel that it is high time for women to redefine their image. Too often the picture that is pushed to the front is that of either: the video vixen, the housewife, or the delusional party girl. I'm not saying that every lady needs to be Sistah Souljah or Nikki Giovanni, but it wouldn't hurt society if there was a bit more balance between Nikki Minaj's fake backside and MTV's fascination with teenage pregnancy. Why cant there be a reality show about the difficulties of women trying to ascend the ranks of the male dominated medical field? Or, why hasn't there been a documentary done on the great works Hilary Clinton has done in Burma? Yeah, I know, MEN control the airwaves. But, ladies, you are the largest segment of consumers!!! If you stop supporting something, because you find it to be misogynistic or condescending, then you will hit the "Machine" where it feels it most...the checkbook!
And in return, you will support the development of a culture of gentlemen. You (ladies that is) must stop waiting on men to realize that their treatment of women is inappropriate. How long have men and women coexisted? Since Eve and Adam kicked it the Garden? Yeah! So ladies, it's time for you to pull a Ghandi (Be the change you wish to see). MAKE men realize that there is another side to the enigma that is the female. Show them through your actions, dress, words, character, and monetary support that the girl on TV is by no means an accurate portrayal of your entirety as a gender. AND, you must refuse to compromise on your position, because they are going to come. Those stubborn men (and women), who have profited off of the industry of "entertainment prostitution", will come with a variety of arguments trying to persuade you to accept this confusion as some kind of twisted version of freedom...but you know better. You know that, by purchasing this "freedom", you will only be walking away enslaved to the very product you invested in. Freedom is never free and you must decide which version of freedom you want to purchase. You can either "buy in" to the version of freedom that gives you a buffet of options on how you can turn yourself into an object. OR, you can "buy in" to the decision to establish an image that fits your desire to be treated like the woman I see in my mother, wife, sister, aunt, Michelle Obama (I love her), etc...
I desperately want to be a gentleman...and I want you to help me make it happen!
I first want to applaud you for even broaching this subject. I am trying to decide how to respond. Part of me completely agrees with you, and is disgusted that shows like Real Housewives, Dance Moms, etc. are as popular as they are. I mean, have you watched Toddlers and Tiaras? Disgusting.
ReplyDeleteHowever, another part of me always balks whenever a man--even a man I adore and respect as much as I do you--suggests how women should behave. I mean, your telling us to redefine our image? How would you respond if I suggested the same of men? Oh, wait, I do...often.
When it comes down to it, I believe that it's important to have a discussion about this, but I wish you wouldn't speak to all women as if we are all the same Woman. There are so many variables at work within our gender: race, religion, sexuality, politics, self-esteem, etc. How can anyone, male or female, expect all women to band together to beat down the Man...men...who keep putting us down?
I assure you that I will continue to fight the good fight, and I hope my fellow gender pals will too, but I know from experience--and from watching Bad Girls Club--how difficult it will be to get the whole gender to work as one! :-)
Your words definitely ring true! I hope that this post didn't come across as me trying to tell "you women" what to do. I simply wanted this to serve as an inspiration to strong ladies, like yourself, that are being overlooked; because of the male dominated influences. Much love Mama J!
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